The Road of Uncertainty

"There is really nothing more to say--except why. But since why is difficult to handle, 

one must take refuge in how."~ Toni Morrison

Ah, yes. It will be almost a month now since I've started looking for a new job. Yes, I've had the few opportunities to meet for an interview, but that's as far as I've gotten. Yet, I know I'm not the only one. There are many of us who are looking for a new job. A new opportunity. I hope mine comes soon.

Hey, I need to stay optimistic.

I will say, it's been hard to not go crazy or depressed. Especially when I start thinking about why it is that I still don't have anything--when I start questioning everything.

If I could, I think I would've already pulled my hair out, out of mere frustration of course. Yet when I start reflecting, I can't help but put a smile on my face. I have a family that supports me and encourages me. I have friends that always try to remind me of how smart and talented I am--maybe they are just being sweet but I am grateful--and I have a boyfriend that does all of the things I've mentioned and more.

Earlier today I told him just how happy I was for being with him, and truth be told, if I wasn't with him and going out, even if it's just for dinner, I would've gone crazy or depressed by now. Hmmm... I don't think either one is good.

Yes, my world is full of uncertainties, and even my writing has been affected by the event, but I believe that somewhere down the road it will get better. I need to believe and think positive. Maybe this is one of the many lessons in life we have to learn from. Maybe.

Now I am aware I'm not the only one who feels this way; at least I hope so. Yes, it's tough. Frustrating. Meaningless even, but we must remember things happen in life (all the time!) and we must stay strong. Maybe this road of uncertainty will soon make sense to me and to you.

Till next time,

Eva